Everyone feels angry at times. However, left unchecked, this strong emotion can build and tip you out of control even over something minor. You can avoid this strong response by maintaining a calm mind.
First, know when you are angry; being annoyed is often anger’s first cousin. Second, when you are angry, try one of these suggestions to defuse it:
Breathe deeply, like in meditation. Have the breaths come from your belly, not your chest.
Slowly repeat a calming word, such as ‘Amitofo’ to yourself as you breathe deeply.
If you are able to, meditate. Even if your mind is reeling, work at controlling that ‘Monkey Mind’ will ratchet the anger down.
If you are with a person that you are feeling angry with, and you are able to, excuse yourself and step away for a few moments to calm your frustrations. Take this time to reflect carefully on what you plan to do or say.
Verbally communicate with the person what you perceive the issue to be. This will bring it into the open so if it’s a misunderstanding, it can be identified. If it’s a true problem, it identifies that there is some strong emotion on your part.
Start suggesting solutions; moving the focus from what made you mad to what to do to resolve the issue will redirect the negative forces.
Use humor to help diffuse the situation. Be careful not to make it worse with sarcasm!
If this is not a ‘face to face’ situation, try taking a walk, or do some slow stretches such as yoga. Physical activity can burn some of the negative energy and turn it around.
Write about your anger. Not publicly, like on your Facebook page, but only to yourself. If you write it on a piece of paper, then burn it, or crumple it up and throw it away, it can be a symbol of what you want to do to your anger.
Anger, when left unchecked, destroys relationships and lives. We can eradicate this vexation by having the right views. Practice restraint, compassion, and awareness and you will set yourself free.